Over the past few years, I’ve been listening deeply to Aboriginal Elders, families and young people about the ripple effects of the White Australia policy.

What stands out every time is not just the history — but the human cost of identity being disrupted at the deepest level.

When you take a child away from their culture, their family, their belonging — even “for their own good” — you don’t just change their circumstances. You interrupt their sense of self. And that damage echoes across generations.

So, I can’t help but notice a parallel — not identical, but familiar.

Today we are reshaping another part of identity for children: gender and self-concept. And I find myself wondering — not from a place of fear, but from a place of care:

Are we protecting the rights of one group while unintentionally destabilising another? Are we supporting the minority while confusing the majority? Are we repeating an old trauma pattern in a new form?

I stand for all children and against systems that harm them.

Let me be clear: I will always stand for the dignity, safety and inclusion of all children. All children deserve support, respect and hope.

But I am seeing a growing number of children who were never distressed about their gender, now feeling uncertain, anxious or disconnected from themselves — not because of who they are, but because they’ve been invited to question themselves before they were developmentally ready.

And as someone who has worked for years in the space of grief, identity and belonging, I cannot un-see that pattern.

When identity is destabilised: • anxiety rises • belonging fractures • families struggle • and children feel unmoored.

We’ve seen this story before in Australia. And it didn’t end well.

What the research is telling us

The research tells us that transgender young people are at higher risk of distress and need support — and I support young people being supported 100%.

But the same research also shows another truth:

🔹 Identity confusion + lack of grounding = increased anxiety 🔹 Family support is protective for all children 🔹 Not every child questioning identity is experiencing gender dysphoria 🔹 Some children are being pulled into identity uncertainty they never asked for

A few key studies:

• Large review: gender-diverse youth face more distress than cisgender peers. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9936952/
• Meta-analysis: non-binary youth report higher depression and anxiety. https://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-024-00822-z
• Review of trans students in schools: bullying + structural issues drive harm. https://transformingfamilies.org.au/research/...
• Study: family support removes link between transition milestones and suicide risk. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2821064

The message? Support matters. But support must be wise, relational and age-appropriate.

What I’m advocating for is the middle ground

The one we don’t hear enough about.

✅ We protect gender-diverse children. ✅ We don’t confuse children who were never questioning their identity. ✅ We work with families, not around them. ✅ We teach respect and inclusion, not existential self-doubt. ✅ We honour the minority without destabilising the majority.

In trauma-informed practice we say:

“First, do no harm. And second, don’t repeat old harm in new packaging.”

A lesson from history

A nation that has lived through the trauma of identity erasure should be the first to say:

“We know what happens when children are detached from belonging. Let’s not walk that path again — even unintentionally.”

Identity is not a trend. It is an anchor.

And a child who is grounded in body, family, culture and self is a child who can grow, explore and flourish — without being lost.

The real question isn't “Who’s right?” but “Who’s at risk?”

If we are truly committed to child safety, trauma-informed practice and cultural care, then we must widen the lens.

Some children need affirmation. Some children need clarity. All children need belonging.

I’d love to see this conversation become less polarised and more compassionate.

No slogans. No labels. No shouting across walls.

Just: ✅ evidence ✅ empathy ✅ lived wisdom ✅ and a determination not to repeat history

If this matters to you — as a parent, educator, clinician, community worker or simply as a human being — I welcome respectful dialogue.

Let’s get this right. Our kids deserve it.